I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
