I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
