i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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