Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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