she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
