Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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