That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
