I wannas sexs uuuuu
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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