Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
