Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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