Please, let me fuck your mom
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My ass is underappreciated
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize