so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
