last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
