Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
