I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
