I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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