I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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