That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
