Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
