Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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