I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize