Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
