she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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