ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
