The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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