another moral hangover. fuck.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
