If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
