Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
