the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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