mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
