you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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