i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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