It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Randomize
