apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
