The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
