My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
