I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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