Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
