Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
What a dumb baby whore.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
