The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
