party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
