Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
