Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I smell like Dick and happiness
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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