I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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