he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
