all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Randomize
