is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
