TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
