there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
