I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
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