i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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