you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
