It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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