ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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