Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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