I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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