So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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