I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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