Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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