i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
