Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
