I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
