he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
