I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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