I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
